I’m working on mindfulness in listening. In my humble opinion, it is one of the most important skills a person can learn. I am making a very conscientious effort to be mindful when people talk to me. This includes making eye contact, and, more importantly, stopping whatever it is I’m doing and giving that other person my full attention.

Miscommunication occurs because people aren’t really listening to each other. They are texting, reading emails, cooking, working, etc. At the same time, I think people desire so much to be heard that they don’t hear what other people are saying. What happens is everyone is talking but no one is being heard. We then create these alternative realities because we have to fill in the blanks of what we weren’t listening to in the first place.

I don’t know about you but it leads to a lot of frustration. Personally, I tend to shut down when I feel I’m not being listened to. My thought is that if you can’t listen to me then I don’t really have anything to say. I’m aware I do this. I’m also very good at letting it go most of the time. I can’t change the way people are. I can only change myself and my reactions.

Are you a good listener? How do you handle it when people don’t listen? Do you find this to be a common theme in today’s society?



2 responses »

  1. Good stuff. I definitely agree with you, and I should get back to working on that more. I’ve always been told that I’m a good listener, but I should practice and be more mindful as well. When I’m having a conversation with someone and another person is trying to interrupt and get my attention, I usually just put my finger up for the other person trying to get my attention to wait and finish (or find a pausing point) with the other person. I hate trying to have a conversation with someone while they’re on their damn phone, and I really hate it when someone is half listening — I, too, shut down. I think that today with all the technology people listen to each other a lot less. Not saying that technology is bad, but if you’re out for drinks/dinner/coffee with someone, stay off your phone!

    • I can tell when I’m on the phone with someone and their attention wanders away. Sometimes it’s hard to be polite or show lovingkindness in those moments! I too try hard to be a good listener, but it’s very frustrating when others do not give me the same respect.

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