I believe I set my goals to high when I stated I would post 3 times a week. Having taken on, although really really part time, two jobs that take me out of the house 4 days a week, I feel overwhelmed trying to find time to write. I think one post a week and maybe a picture thrown in might be all I can handle right now.
I started writing something about exercising while fat and then I read this. Most of Naomi’s thoughts could have been mine. Enjoy.
I’ve shared with you lovely readers that recently I haven’t been feeling all that great. Well, my mind is getting a bit better but I’m still experiencing pain. Pain sucks. It’s just an asshole. Lately, it seems that most days I have to force myself to move because it just hurts all the time. If I don’t move, I fear I won’t be able to move. And, when I don’t feel good I don’t write. So, of course, I’ve been struggling with the “oh my gawd, I need to write anyway because that’s what I should be doing but I don’t have anything to write about that anyone would want to hear anyway’s.” It can be a vicious cycle.
But, I do have an experience to share. It’s a victory for me in many ways.
My wonderful trainer has been hosting these ‘Get Fit,Get Food’ nights; we do some kind of workout for an hour at his studio and then go eat at a local restaurant. I have forced myself to go each time because I love him and want to support him. Plus, it’s on my regular weekly scheduled workout night. I really don’t have a legitimate excuse to not go. And, because it’s good to get out of my comfort zone every once in a while. I had a negative experience with another attendee the first time and was in tears on the way to the restaurant. But, my trainer is awesome and I ended up having a good time. Last night the fit part was pilates and my husband went with me. About ten people attended. Most of them were very thin and the woman that gave me a hard time at first session were there again. My pilates instructor was teaching this time and I’ve been attending her class weekly since last summer. She used me as the example for all these women to follow if they needed a visual. I was floored! I was also feeling a bit “Take that! In your face you judgmental jerk!” toward the woman that thinks I’m too fat.
Not a very Buddha-like thought to express but hey…there it is.
Helping others learn to manage their stress has been a goal of mine for some time now. I believe how we handle stress is key to leading a more content and fulfilled life. I ponder health from a threefold perspective; a balance between mind, body, and spirit. Alas, I lack focus which has caused lagging in my blogging history.
So I made a list of who I think I am. I’m a feminist. I’m a white, straight, cis, fat, middle-class (if there is such a thing) woman. I’m a mother, wife, sister, friend. I’m a Gemini. I am Buddhist, Pagan, Wiccan, and beach bum. I’m introverted, peri-menopausal, and an ally. I’m a bit sassy, a former addict, holder of a few degrees, a latchkey kid, and an 80’s girl. I love walking, strength training, and yoga and I believe food is medicine. I also like to say the word fuck. A lot. I have the ability to be invisible to most people. I don’t like conventional medicine, I have many conspiracy theories, and I am lover of all things “woo”. I’m also a really good listener. I cannot separate who I am from what I want to teach.
With all that going on, how can I write about just one thing? And, then I realize, I don’t have to: It’s MY blog. If people want to read it they will read it. I am hopeful I have something to teach people that helps them on this journey we call life.
Mostly, this blog will be about the many aspects of health, ways to get and maintain a balanced life, and the ever changing moments we experience as we live it. Stay tuned…
An Open Apology…
This made me cry this morning. How I wish I could just make more women in my life realize their bodies are wonderful RIGHT NOW. Just the way they are.
It’s taken me years to accept my fat body. And some days, I don’t like the way I look in the mirror. I still shy away from having my picture taken, although that is something I’m currently working on. But when I wake up in the morning, I am thankful for what my fat body does for me! I nourish this body of mine with real food, exercise, and rest.
Do you love your body? What do you do to take loving care of your body?